Everyone gets angry from time to time and there is no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed of it. Angry feelings can be a natural human response to injustice, fear, frustration, or situations which remind us of past emotional difficulties or traumas. Anger can be a healthy emotion, as it alerts us to danger and prepares us to respond.
We all have moments when we are mad at something or someone, either because of our actions or the actions of others.
Angry feelings can unfortunately spiral downward quickly if left unchecked. Small eruptions can build into rage that harms relationships, disrupts work, and leaves you feeling miserable every day.
Feeling angry sometimes is normal. Anger itself is natural, but when it gets out of control, it causes problems. It can make you say or do things you regret. It can harm relationships and hurt the people you value most.
If you're struggling with controlling anger, don't suffer in silence. You can learn to how control anger and manage emotions. With steady effort, you can control anger and enjoy a healthier, happier life.
What Is The Root Cause Of Your Anger?
The first step in dealing with your anger is trying to understand its root cause or triggers. Ask yourself, “Why am I angry?” What event or situation triggered these feelings?
The more you recognize the source of your anger, the easier it becomes to manage.
A helpful exercise is to write down the events that led to your anger. This allows you to see what triggered it and what might keep it going. Once you recognize the root cause, you can begin looking for healthy ways to resolve it.
Key Warning Signs You Should Never Ignore
Warning signs that your anger may be out of control, or on the way to becoming a bigger problem, include:
- Frequently losing your temper
- Saying or doing things you later regret when angry
- Expressing anger in abusive or violent ways
- Facing problems at work, home, or school because of your expression of anger
- Struggling to sleep or eat due to constant anger
- Feeling more irritable with strangers in public places (shopping, driving, or at events)
- Driving aggressively in response to others’ mistakes or reckless behavior
If you notice any of these warning signs, seeking help is important. Uncontrolled anger can harm your physical and emotional health.
You should also pay attention to physical signs that anger is building up. These can include:
- Clenched fists or grinding teeth
- Flushed face or sweating
- Increased heart rate
- Shortness of breath
- Tightness in your stomach
- Headaches
- Feeling like you might lose control or explode
So, How Can You Control Your Anger Impulses or Urges And Stop Them From Taking Over?
Another way to prevent your anger from spiraling out of control is to practice techniques that help ground you during increasing stress accompanied by strong feelings or irritation. There are many ways to do this, but below are a few of the most effective ones.
Breathing And Relaxation Exercises
Taking a few minutes to focus on your breathing can calm your mind, reduce stress, and restore emotional balance. Take deep breaths, exhale with some force and sigh. This has been proven to reduce stress. Some people find it helpful to adjust their posture, close their eyes, and focus on pleasant memories or images to enhance the breathing exercise. Simple breathing exercises can even help you fall asleep faster, especially if anger-induced insomnia keeps you awake at night.
Journaling
You don’t have to be a writer to reap the benefits of journaling. This is an excellent way to get your thoughts and feelings out of your head and onto paper. When you write about your experiences, you can look at them objectively and gain a new perspective.
Journaling is great for dealing with anger, but there are many other ways to channel your emotions. Writing a letter to someone you’re mad at is a great way to release your emotions, but it’s important to remember that throwing an angry letter in their mailbox isn’t healthy.
Exercise to Control Anger and Reduce Stress
Exercising is one of the best and easiest ways to relieve stress and anger. When you’re angry, exercise is a great way to get your feelings out of your head and into your body. It’s also a great way to get some energy out of your system so you can return to the situation with a clearer head.
One of the best ways to deal with anger and stress through exercise is to do something that gets your heart rate pumping and gets you breathing hard. Spinning, biking, and hiking are great for this. Don’t worry about hitting the gym when you’re feeling angry.
Sometimes exercise is best done alone, without the added stress of feeling like everyone is watching you. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your anger, it’s a good idea to get out of the house and go for a walk or jog.
And if you tend to sabotage yourself with “all or nothing” type thinking, remember that even 10-15 minutes will help and studies show most people will engage in exercise longer if they make their target time low, just to get started.
Take A Minute To Recognize What’s Making You Angry
During an episode of anger, it can be hard to see clearly. Taking a few moments to reflect on the situation can help you understand and reduce angry feelings and impulses.
Ask yourself:
What am I furious about?
What is this person or situation doing to make me angry?
Is this situation on-going or is it over now?
Does the person or situation remind me of a past event that was painful?
Is that memory fueling more emotion in my current anger?
You might be surprised to find that you’re angry about something entirely different than you initially thought.
By stepping back and looking at the situation from a new angle, you may see a way out of the anger that wasn’t obvious before.
Sometimes it’s hard to see past your own emotions and desires. Taking a few moments to clear your head can help you view the situation more clearly.
Know Your Triggers, The Beginning of Taking Control Of Your Anger and Emotions
Researchers have found that the best way to deal with anger is to face it head-on and come to terms with it. Denial and repression often worsen negative emotions, so the most effective way to overcome anger is to confront your fears and address problematic behaviors.
For example, if you’re angry with your partner for leaving dishes in the sink, try to look beyond the dishes and focus on the behavior that’s triggering your anger. Maybe you’re upset because you’ve had a stressful day at work, or because your partner isn’t helping when you need support. Once you’ve identified the behavior, you can calmly discuss your feelings with your partner.
Additionally, think about these questions
- How important is what's making you angry? Is it a big deal or a small deal?
- Is it a one time thing or does it happen daily?
- Is it worth ruining the rest of the day to be angry at this situation?
- Are there actions I can take to make the situation better?
Ways to Turn Anger into Positive Action
It’s essential to confront your anger and address the root cause of why you are anger. It's also important to express your anger in a healthy, productive way, where you can blow off steam and still be making progress on your goals. This is a key to managing difficult emotions, turning negative emotions into positive action.
Being healthy isn’t just about eating right and exercising; it also includes managing your emotions effectively. Here are a few ways to do this:
Meditation
Meditation isn’t just for Buddhists. It’s a great way to clear your head and focus on your emotions in a healthy way. Studies show that meditation can reduce anger and stress while improving overall mental and physical health. Meditation is a practice, so remember to start with realistic expectations.
Exercise To Help Manage Your Anger
Exercising or any physical exertiion is a great way to help manage your anger, and it’s also healthy for your heart, muscles, and brain. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, chemicals that make you feel happy and relaxed.
If you’re angry, try going for a walk, riding a bike, or lifting weights. Exercise works best in the early stages of anger, so it’s most effective when you first notice your anger, or even better, when you sense irritability or simmering frustration.
Exercising helps you calm down and think more clearly, which can improve your ability to manage anger and process your emotions. This not only aids in controlling anger, but also reduces stress and boosts mental health. Regular workouts can prevent depression and improve overall mood.
Exercise can also help you sleep better, which in turn supports anger and stress management. Getting a good night’s sleep helps you feel better both mentally and physically.
Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
When you’re angry, it can be easy to turn to destructive behaviors for ways to cope with those feelings. Many people develop a habit of consuming alcohol for immediate relief for example, while others turn to drugs and various substances to relieve their anger and frustration.
Other people may turn to gambling, overeating, or other potentially harmful activities to try and keep the anger at bay. If you notice yourself turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms, it’s important to stop long enough to reassess the situation. Even stopping for 15 or 30 seconds can be the beginning of a habit that grows into a great anger management technique in your toolbelt.
Seek Professional Anger Management Help If Necessary
If you’re dealing with extreme anger, you may have an anger management problem. It’s also possible that other issues are involved, such as mental health conditions like depression or anxiety, or even a substance use disorder.
When mild anger becomes frequent, or occasional flare-ups turn into uncontrollable rage, it’s a good idea to seek professional help.
You can talk to your doctor or a licensed mental health professional about your struggles with anger and see if they recommend therapy or an anger management program to help you better control your emotions. You don’t want to wait until your anger is causing serious problems to seek help.
Anger management classes can also be very effective. They help you understand your anger and teach healthy ways to deal with it.
Substance abuse, mental health problems, and other factors can all contribute to anger, so getting help is crucial if you think you have a problem.
Conclusion
These anger management strategies can help you control your emotions and handle difficult situations in a healthier, more adaptive way.
The best way to deal with anger is to confront it head-on, understand its root cause, and find healthy ways to channel your emotions. When you’re angry, it’s important to step back from the situation and control yourself. There is no shame in seeking help if you struggle to apply some of the straightforward strategies discussed in this blog.
Once you’re calm enough to think clearly, you can face the situation directly and come to terms with your feelings. Most importantly, you can regain control over your emotions and anger.
